In the still of the night... I lie awake.

I lie awake feeling rather morose. Am not sure why. I get this way every time I near my birthday. As is ... I struggle with depression. I've also been doing a lot more artwork as of late. It's something I enjoy doing in order to channel my moods. However that being said I am never satisfied... matter fact I am (like most people) my own worst critic. A lot of what I paint or draw is often ... well really rather dark. Which I'm sure is odd to some of my friends considering most people think I'm a cheerful and happy go lucky person. Only I'm not really.

Anyway... I digress. I guess I really don't know what else to say other than I am going through a period of sadness. I tend to retreat and sulk... like most people do I suppose. So what do I do to cope? I channel this energy through art or music because it soothes my soul. I lie here restless in my bed feeling angst. Oh and that's another thing I tend to feel is anxiety... and how I tend to cope with that is simply by staying busy. I clean. I go into these fits and bouts of cleaning and organizing. This I blame my Dad for. I inherited this neurosis from him. Not a bad thing I assure you. Something about having a clean environment that makes me feel at ease.

So the image you see above is just something I sketched/drew this afternoon using charcoal pencil and pastels. Now normally I do not like any of my "so called" art, but I'm actually quite pleased with how this one turned out. Sothereyouhaveit! Something to gaze at... a little insight on my current mood.

That is all. I love the sound of crickets outside my bedroom window.
Buenas Noches!